That's how long I had to wait. The longest 12 days of my life. It felt like the first 24 days of December. But without a chocolate to console you each morning, until finally you eat the big one which means Christmas is the next day.
For those 12 days, every option crossed my mind. Could I do this on my own? Could I actually go through with an abortion? Could I carry this baby for 9 months and then give it to someone else? For 12 days I had to awkwardly avoid all of the alcoholic luxuries that come with an all inclusive resort, beers on the patio as summer hit Calgary, sleeping on my stomach, and watched as my body turned on my previous love for all things vegetable. I fell in the ocean early into our trip, carrying C's son. I slipped on a rock and we got pulled under by a wave. In my desperate attempt to keep him above the water, I took quite a beating to the left side of my body, predominantly to my abdomen. For 6 days, I worried constantly that I'd hurt the baby. I worried like a mother.
Finally the day of the ultra sound came.
I got up early, measured out my 8 glasses of water. Then endured the drive down south with a full bladder, and finally checked in. While we waited, B told me not to look at the screen. That it was just a bunch of cells, no heartbeat, nothing to get attached to.
They called me in separately.
The tech poked and prodded for a while, which is incredibly uncomfortable when you have a full bladder. Before telling me that the full bladder wasn't helping things, to go and empty my bladder and we were going to do the exam internally. Relief at last!
I came back, and was told to insert an instrument that was about the size and shape of a tampon, "where you'd put a tampon" and we continued with the exam.
Upon completion, she told me to get dressed while she went and got B.
I bet you wish your tampon could do this!
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