Really good at peeing on sticks.

That was not a topic that I wanted to discuss.

Sure, I understood B's concerns. I had them too. We'd only been together for a couple of months. I'd just moved out on my own, pushing back my debt repayment plans. He had plenty of his own. We obviously hadn't gone about this the conventional way. What would people think. Could we commit to the next 18 years together?

At the same time. This is a baby we were talking about. Whether he saw it that way or not.

First things first, we needed to make sure. I called and was able to get a doctors appointment for a couple of hours later. So we put the topic aside and went for breakfast. Where we talked about everything we could, other than the situation. and I held in every ounce of liquid, expecting I would probably have to pee on another stick. Which, I am really good at doing now. Peeing into small orifices that is.

We got to the clinic, sure enough I was handed a plastic container and told to go do my thing. Then we sat patiently waiting for my doctor, for what seemed like eternity. Eventually, in he walked. With a stick, some paper towel and some litmus papers I hadn't seen since high school chemistry class. My immediate question was, "did you get the same results I did?" "were your results positive?" "yes.". We spent a couple of minutes talking about options, possible times of conception, next steps. and of course B had his questions about abortion.

I was given a referral for a dating ultrasound, told to have a good time in Punta Cana, and to come back in a couple of weeks. As soon as we got in the car, I tried to book the dating ultrasound, hoping that maybe we could get in before I left. Silly me, again this was 3 days before I left. Unfortunately, I was told that nothing will show up until it has been at least 6 weeks since your missed period. So I took an appointment for the Monday after I would get back from Punta Cana.

Desperate for answers, we drove all the way back downtown to get a digital clear blue test, from a Shoppers Drug Mart where no one would see us.

We got back to his apartment, and for the third time that day...

I peed on a stick.